Some days, I just can't quite keep up with all the goings on.
It wasn't so much "drama" last week as it was a parade of oddities in the guise of customers. Bad fashion. Dogs. Chin straps. A purple sack dress.
I. Just. Can. Not. Deal.
I'm not opposed to chin straps. You just need the right type of face for it. Pudgy doesn't really work. And said chin strap looks especially bad if it is in the first three days, wispy and looks like it could have been drawn with an eyebrow pencil. This happened to be on a laptop-bearing type that came in, sat in a comfy chair and chewed his "gold" chain for an hour while typing and staring at everyone from behind a glare. Odd.
PLAID MAN might have been my personal favorite. PLAID MAN came in early during the night.
What's black and white and plaid all over? PLAID MAN! What's plaid up top and plaid down below? PLAID MAN!
Obviously, no one told PLAID MAN that you shouldn't wear a plaid top and plaid shorts together - even if they're both black and white.
Worse, PLAID MAN failed to match his plaids. I wonder if PLAID MAN was drained of his powers by virtue of the mismatch? Odd.
The purple sack floated in just after sunset, atop gold sandals and under a dirty blonde bob. Those women that look pregnant - but they're obviously too old to BE pregnant? That was her. It wasn't an awful look - but you couldn't tell that she had pants on. It was kind of like a purple blimp - floating through the Starbucks. Her escort was in red shorts and a yellow and white tee. All primary colors, all the time. The aroma of coffee parted in her wake. Odd.
The night was capped off by a dog. Yes. A dog.
A dog. In the Starbucks.
Let me state - PLAINLY - that I am not opposed to service animals of any stripe. Seeing eye dogs. Anxiety miniature horses. Whatever, and for whatever purposes. If an animal helps you function and IT IS A MEDICAL NECESSITY - I will be first in line to support you.
I have some doubts about whether this particular specimen of Canis lupus familiaris was a true service animal.
For starters, this was clearly not a "seeing eye dog." It wasn't on the "handle" thing and harness. Just on a regular leash. The patron kept the dog on an extremely short leash - barely two feet.
To the extent of my knowledge, service animals are trained to be calm to the point of near catatonia in almost any situation.
This dog was not. It was visibly in distress at being inside, panting and quivering with anxiety.
The dog tried to jump up on the counter at the register and again at the handoff bar and was vastly curious about anything and everything in the store.
As the patron tried to leave, the dog lunged toward a display of coffee, nearly knocking the coffee out of her hands.
I don't know if the patron was a regular. The baristas didn't say anything - and I didn't get the chance to ask. She took the coffee and the dog and sat outside at one of the patio tables smoking for about an hour.
Who knows. But it was certainly an interesting night.