Me vs. Starbucks baristas: The personal cup WAR

I really try to keep this whole thing about my observations - because I don't suffer from the misconception that I'm all that interesting. I can tell a good story - but I'm not THE good story.

But I am going to forcibly remove the head of the next Starbucks barista that forgets my personal cup discount and pour a vat of that crappy instamatic dried coffee they're passing off as "Starbucks Via" down the hole and scream blue murder.

That is my eleven cents. MINE. Not yours. Mine. Do you keep it? Seriously people. I WANT TO KNOW. I DEMAND TO KNOW.

Starbucks sells those mugs and tumblers like crosses at a Baptist convention. There's a special button ON THE REGISTER for "personal mug discount," yet I have been to not one, not two, but FOUR - COUNT THEM - FOUR - Starbucks in the past THREE days where I have had to politely "remind" baristas about my discount.

This is how the conversation usually goes. Entertainment value aside, the basic interactions are the same. I worked retail for three years; I will never yell, scream or be rude. Although some of these baristas are starting to sorely try my patience.

BARISTA: "Greetings earthling. Welcome to the Green Apron Planet. I am Coffeebot 9000. I am programmed to espresso beans and subsist on Vivanno and stale pastry. What may I dispense for you today? Would you like a pairing? Please god get a pairing and buy some Starbucks Via or they'll throw me in the blender! ANYTHING BUT THE BLENDER!"
ME: "Iced-venti-no-whip-mocha. And I have a cup."

BARISTA: "Thank-you."
ME: Looks at the barista. Hands them the cup. Holds the lid. Ponders again the stupidity of the design of the tumbler, because I'm LITERALLY left holding the lid while they make the drink. Couldn't they have just designed something with a flip-top lid?

BARISTA: Mashing buttons like a champ.
ME: I don't care. I worked a register. It takes concentration. I'm waiting. I know to the penny how much it costs.

BARISTA: "$4.40"
ME: Tries real darn hard not to sigh at yet another failure of the barista training program. Let me elucidate.

Starbucks wants people to buy these $15 recyclable tumblers, one because they're $15 and two because every time I use it, I save them a throw-away plastic cup that doesn't go into a landfill.

The company can't track green initiatives unless the baristas remember to ring the "personal cup" discount - and encourage them to be MORE green. Also, I'm subtly encouraged to return to Starbucks for this inconsequential 11-cent discount. I swear it is a conspiracy to ignore the green movement - "see, no one uses them."

ME: I withhold my card, because without payment, no things are possible. AND I POLITELY SAY - "Can I have the personal cup discount please?"

Please allow me to enumerate the excuses I have heard.

BARISTA #1: "Oh. It's my first day back at work."
BARISTA #2: "Yeah. You did give me that cup."
BARISTA #3: "Oh, I knew I was forgetting something. You had to remind me last time too, didn't you?" Thank you, Old Lady Barista, for remembering me, and the now 22 cents you have tried to swindle me out of.

You want more? I got more.
BARISTA #4: "Oh. Was that your cup?"
BARISTA #5: Nothing. Just a blank stare. And then "Oh. Yeah. That's right."
BARISTA #6: "I'm so sorry, I just went right past it."
BARISTA #7: "We don't see a lot of those."
BARISTA #8: "I can't find the button."

ME: "That's OK." Wait patiently as they mash one more button. Amy Good Barista. Good Barista Amy.


BARISTA: "$4.29"
ME: Hands over the Starbucks Gold card and gets the total price under $4. People like me are the reason they're doing away with Starbucks Gold.

I have been to ALL of these Starbucks stores multiple times before. They know my drink order at #2 and #3 - but they regularly try to nudge me out of 11 cents.

I honestly get so happy now when the baristas at my "super-regular" Starbucks get things right without me having to *tell* them, that I go ahead and tell them "you're the only ones who remember." There's a reason they're the best Starbucks in two counties.

*sigh* OK. My rant is over. Thank you. Baristas, feel free to comment. Maybe the button is impossible to find.

Like the crazy PRICE OVERRIDE for vegetables when I worked the register at Wal-Mart. That was a NIGHTMARE of epic proportions. EPIC. Trying to make the scale talk to the register was like trying to get Anglophiles and Francophones to pick a place to eat.