the "toadslime007" adventure.
He has a name, but for these purposes, we are going to call him "Tony."
He's not really a bad homeless person, but he's not really a good one either. The baristas are mostly kind, but he has taken to pushing their generosity to ever-farther limits.
At first, it was the occasional free refill. Now, it is a free cup of coffee every day. And when he wants a refill, he brings the cup back in and thrusts it in the face of whichever barista happens to be behind the bar and just stands there. Not cool dude, not cool.
There's also what I call the "proximity" factor. He mistakes proximity for interest. Just because we all happen to be in the same space, we don't actually share a desire to communicate all the time. They have to work, I want to surf the Internet (or write). Or read.
And when "Tony" talks, it is …. Kind of insane.
Yesterday, he brought in an empty box that used to contain DVD glasses. He wanted to sell the box to the baristas. An empty box? They were trying to explain his logic to me - and none of us ever got it. We think he may have been telling them to go try and return it to a store or something.
So today I come in and he's parked out on the patio, smoking and "keeping watch" over the cars in the parking lot. I put my stuff down on the laptop bar and order my drink.
As I return to my computer, I notice that "Tony" has secured a newspaper. But not any newspaper. One in a bag.
Now, because I work there, I know where he got this one - right off someone's front lawn. See, newspaper arrive in little plastic bags when it is raining during the AM and carriers can't throw just the paper during their delivery. He swiped this one. We later discover that it is a Wall Street Journal, so it definitely came off somebody's lawn. Note the CVS bag with his belongings tied up next to it in the photo above!
So I go over to the baristas and say "We've got to talk about Tony." And I tell them that he swiped the paper.
They laugh - and tell me that I need a whole section of my blog devoted to "We've got to talk about Tony."
Does your Starbucks have a regular homeless person (or two?)