Have your Starbucks cake and eat it too!

Every now and again, I'm a little bit amazed at just how far Starbucks allows that whole "Just Say Yes" philosophy to permeate the culture. Hipsters with laptops are one thing - they usually buy something. These people tonight - they were a totally different story.

First, a pack of six comes in. Old ladies with old men in tow, gabbling like hens pecking for a loose piece of corn scattered about the coop.

The racket is deafening. It gets louder.

They need chairs. And tables. There's a discussion. A long, loud, lengthy discussion that would put the United Nations to shame. I wanted to take off my shoe and pound the pastry case.

Finally, they wedged the two four tops together - but not side-by-side. They stuck them together at an angle, so one table jutted out into the empty lane that people usually use as, you know, empty space. They didn't care.

They still needed chairs. They grabbed the eight chairs that went with the four-tops, then three more that went with all the little two-tops along the wall.

Eleven chairs. Eleven old people. Eleven tall Christmas Blends.

They asked for more milk, and more half-and half twice. The shift supervisor on duty finally just brought out a jug of everything and sat it on the counter.

THIS WAS CLEARLY GONNA BE A THROW-DOWN!

You know why? Because somebody rolled up in there with a cake. A big, three-layer, round number with fondant icing and a gorgeous box. None of this cheap grocery story bakery stuff - a proper CAKE.

So, what do they do next?

They asked for a stack of plates! And forks. AND A KNIFE. Because apparently the thing you do is just throw a birthday party up in the Starbucks.

Baristas just kept handing stuff over. Because it all just goes into the dishwasher - and why make an issue.

I don't know where the knife came from though.

Also, them old ladies were loud. Like - SUPER LOUD. And they didn't offer me any cake. Even though there was cake left over - and they asked if there was any Saran Wrap to wrap it up with.

*sigh* At least they didn't ask if there were any presents they could have.