In my real life, I write about the arts and theater. I spend at least a quarter of my nights inside a theater of some sorts, watching plays and musicals. Seeing as how I live in "God's Waiting Room," and unless there are children in the audience, I'm usually one of the youngest people in the audience.
I have a routine - adapted over a couple of years of trial and error. I have yet to find a performing arts center bathroom commodious enough to handle the crowds at intermission, so I always go before the show.
Which is where this little adventure took place.
Fair warning - if you don't like to read about bathrooms - exit now - although I will do my level best to avoid an in-depth description of bodily functions.
Anyway. I'm in the bathroom stall - the handicapped one - because I have absolutely no qualms about using that one. Where other people see "RESERVED FOR SOMEONE ELSE," I see "LUXURY SUITE, DELUXE ACCOMODATIONS."
I also like privacy. No one needs to know that I play Angry Birds on my phone 24-7. DON'T LIE, YOU DO IT TOO. Just don't forget to turn the sound down.
I'm trying to three stars on a jungle level in Angry Birds Rio when my concentration is shattered.
Two old men are have a loud, proud and VERY informative discussion. Honestly, some of the things I've overheard in theater bathrooms would make anyone blush with shame - although my favorite has to be "It takes me all night to do what I used to take all night to do."
Anyway.
Old men like to compare their medications - and the subject of the conversation turned to Flomax - which is apparently a prostate drug. I had to look it up.
They either don't know - or don't care - that there's anyone else in the bath(room) - and proceed to talk about the state of their prostates. And how it helps them improve their functions ....
And so help me Kali, when old men talk about their "functions," they're talking about "sine, cosine and tangent."
I find out more than I ever wanted to know about Flomax, when you should take Flomax for maximum benefit throughout the day, with food or without, with prunes or without, the side effects of Flomax, that you can allegedly take saw palmetto instead of Flomax and how "everything feels better" when the one in the baby blue trousers doesn't forget his dose.
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I know one thing - I'm not leaving the stall while they're there - for fear I'll get dragged into this conversation.
Keep in mind that I'm getting ONLY the sound from this conversation - and the attendant sound effects that are happening as well. Flushes. Grunts. Zips. Grunts. Splashes.
AND TINKLES.
I love old men - they just yammer away about anything and everything while standing at a urinal.
Oh. The title of the play I was seeing? "Breakfast at Starbucks," about two middle-aged people who meet at the green goddess and fall in love.
That's nice. I find it interesting (and a bit unsettling) that these surprise pieces of information tend to stick around much better than most of those things I paid for back in college. I wonder, though, if there is a threshold of retention from these effective learning opportunities. I mean, school was once really interesting until perhaps it became a routine and therefore ceased to warrant much attention.
ReplyDeletelayana resort & spa