The worst Starbucks blind date ever

I'm snooping on quite possibly the worst blind date ever. I'm not positive - because I don't keep that good a track of of the characters in these - that one cue-balled dude is going through a solid chunk of the single white female population of the city. At least the single female coffee drinkers.

He is possibly the most boring, self-absorbed male I've ever had the misfortune to listen to - and that is saying something. Remember, I've spent twelve years working in corporate America - with journalists.

First, he dressed for this date in a ratty sweatshirt, while the erstwhile companion did it up in a sparkly blouse and heels. There was a miscommunication there.

Secondly, he pointedly laid his BlackBerry on the table and has looked at it every three minutes for the past hour. At one point, when it vibrated, he even took the opportunity to extol the virtues of Verizon and the specific model number.

Finally - and the coup de grace - he's done nothing but talk about himself for the entire date. I have heard about twenty words from the woman, mostly murmurs and assents. I'm wondering if she's a mute. Him, I know everything about - and I know I don't want to date him.

So boys, here's some advice:

1. Put the cell phone away.

2. Wear decent clothes, or make it clear that "we're just getting" coffee. there were clearly some different expectations on this date.

3. Don't talk exclusively about yourself. You look like a tool. Ask questions about your partner.

4. Don't yammer on about your diving expedition in the Bahamas so much that  everyone in the cafe wanted to yell "I hope the shark ate you!"

5. Please resist the urge to "one-up" every comment your date makes.

The Doctor is IN. Five cents please!

Thank you again to all the Kindle subscribers and Facebook fans.

If you're so inclined, you can go online to the Starbucks Drama page on Amazon.com and leave a review http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0034KYYBE