Starbucks Drama: The Ultimate Starbucks Fashion Model Drink Order

Today's post is a riddle:

QUESTION: What is the ultimate fashion model drink order at Starbucks?

ANSWER: Please. Did you think it would be that easy? You gonna have to sit through some prose first.

I WITNESSED THIS ATROCITY WITH MY OWN TWO EYES. AND EARS. IF THERE WAS HALF A BRAIN BETWEEN THE FIVE OF THEM IT WAS A HALF A BRAIN TOO MUCH.

It is Spring Break in most of the land and the waifs and wild things descend upon the crystal beaches, warm sands and billowing palm trees of Florida. At least, they would be if the temperatures weren't forty degrees and old people huddle in sweaters everywhere. But still, the bright young things flock to the relative warmth of the summerlands from the frozen frigid wastes of the north.

Five fashionable females prance into the Starbucks.

Five fashionable females stare at the pastry case with sad, dead eyes. They have been whittled down to icepicks and carbs are a Stone Age memory. They want them though - even if they can't have them.

Five fashionable females queue for the bathroom and stare with disdain at the old people drinking coffee and occupying the comfortable leather sofa. That should be *their* throne.

Five fashionable females stand, chatter and can't decide whether or not to order anything.

ONE of the five fashionable females finally makes her intrepid approach to the register. Of the quintet, she's one that looks closest to having a figure instead of a few extra folds of skin in places. Her one major asset is a curvaceous and downright bootylicious rear end, which gives every impression that she's not wearing much more than a thong under her flimsy canary yellow skirt. What curves she has left are in *exactly* the right places.

She clip-clops toward the register.

And orders in a tremulous voice.

"Can I get a ......"








Wait for it .....














Wait for it .....


















Wait for it .....
















Half a glass of water. No ice.