There's a skinny yuppie in white slacks and peach top at the register just in front of me. She's got oodles of moxie (and maybe oodles of poodles, I dunno).
Super important and way too impressed with herself, as I saw her climb out of a black Mercedes and enter from the FRONT door, as I entered from the side.
She clipped briskly across the lobby on three-inch heels and arrived at the register ahead of me - which, fine, go ahead lady. I was raised to respect my elders. And by the scars that hit you right behind the ears ....
Anyway. White pants that are a bit too tight, because there's a visible line that shows off her underthings and a peach shell top. There's also two beepers (yes, beepers) hanging in the left pocket and an iPhone in a red case clutched in a French manicured hand. Talons ya'll - I wonder how she touches the screen on that iPhone; I was just shocked it wasn't glued into her ear.
What does this hyper princess order?
Six shots of decaf espresso over ice.
Let's repeat that.
Six shots of decaf espresso over ice.
The barista asked her to repeat that, just to make sure he heard it correctly.
She did.
He did.
And she got her six shots of decaf espresso over ice.
I'm not quite sure WHY ... there have to be easier ways of getting a coffee flavor (snorting VIA, rolling around in coffee beans) than slugging back six decaf shots.
I've never understood the point of decaf. When she left, I asked the barista if people really did order decaf espresso alot - and it turns out they do.
In stores with two espresso machines, there's one special compartment in one espresso bean hopper that holds decaf espresso beans. So, if you're criminally insane (in my book, at least) and desiring espresso WITHOUT THE ESPRESSO KICK, you can march into a Starbucks and order decaf espresso. Please leave comments if this sounds reasonable. Inquiring minds want to know!
So. Now you know.
I think I'm going to go order six shots of decaf espresso over ice. Then go eat a frappuccino with a spoon.
Hello there. I am a fellow Floridian and read your blog regularly. Often I find it witty, its observations of everyday people interesting, but many times its judgmental tone gets to me (and this is coming from someone who worked as a cashier at gas stations for years and had to deal with many insufferable stuck-up people like the ones you describe and worse.) Even nutty people make the world colorful and interesting, so while a little is okay, too much name-calling and fun-poking behind their backs on a blog seems a little mean, even if you don't name names. But I digress.
ReplyDeleteI was moved to comment for the first time because there is plenty good reason for decaf: I love coffee, real coffee with caffeine, and at times have downed three cans of DoubleShots in a row just to keep me going at my drawing board.
During a period in my life I drank so much coffee that I become oversensitive to caffeine. One DoubleShot too many caused a sleepless night followed by a nasty panic attack, and I had to swear off caffeine for months (the horror!)
I missed the taste of coffee desperately, so the only thing I could do was get an occasional decaf. As you know, decaf has an insignificant amount of caffeine, yet enough that it can cause jitters in someone who is oversensitive, so I couldn't even have decaf very often. I am glad I had the option though. Because come on: life without even the TASTE of coffee? I couldn't bear it!
I wish more than anything that they would release a decaf Starbucks DoubleShot Espresso can. I can't have more than one of the regular kind per day or I bounce off the walls. But I know that is nonsensical and they won't do it. :)
Frankly I'm surprised that there is even something such as shots of decaf espresso over ice. It sounds fantastic to me. But I am stunned to know that it even exists, because the concept of decaf espresso seems a little silly. :P
Then again, if there are people like that woman, and even myself, who would drink it, it's worth it for them to make it I guess.
that is a bizarre order for sure.
ReplyDeletehttp://whyidonothaveaboyfriend.blogspot.com/
Decaf Espresso is an oxymoron. And a way for people to look & feel like they're drinking espresso, which they aren't. Count with me D-E-N-I-A-L
ReplyDeleteok the author of this post doesn't realize that 6 shots of decaf starbucks expresso equals more than one shot of non-decaf expresso so it makes perfect sense. This person is getting the same flavor of expresso, getting to enjoy 16 oz of it (mixed with water and ice) and still getting the equivalent of one shot of caffeine.
ReplyDeleteGO to starbucks website-in a decaf shot of expresso there is 15mg of caffeine-expresso is highly concentrated with caffeine and the most potent.
I think the author doesn't realize that there is no "real decaf" with expresso. even coffee has some but just a tad-unnoticable; however expresso is different.
The customer could have just ordered one regular shot of expresso but i do what she did because you get to enjoy it longer and the same kick-about 75 mg in 6 shots.