How to get free drinks at Starbucks

There is a dedicated class of people who live, breathe, walk, talk and exist with one purpose in life - they never plan to pay full price for anything. Better yet if they can skim a bit off the top and get something for free: THE SCAMMERS.

I had the dubious pleasure of witnessing a true master of the craft at work last week at the Starbucks near my office.

PLEASE NOTE THAT I DO NOT SUPPORT OR ENDORSE THESE DECEPTIVE BUSINESS PRACTICES IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. THE DEPICTION OF SAID PRACTICES HEREIN IS MERELY FOR ENLIGHTENMENT AND POTENTIAL AMUSEMENT OF THE READERS OF "STARBUCKS DRAMA" AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A TRAINING MANUAL FOR POTENTIAL STARBUCKS SCAMMERS. THANK YOU -- SBUXDRAMA.COM MANAGEMENT

It was lunchtime and the line was backed up like a toilet at a fat camp. There was one harried barista (Old Lady Barista) at the register and another one slinging espresso shots around at the barr as fast as that wheezing machine could make them.

The line was out the door. Out. The. Door.

As I remember from my House of Wal days, if you want to run game (pull a scam) do it when the place is slamming busy and don't try for a big haul. The place will *almost always* suffer any amount of minimal loss to get you out of the way and deal with the more pressing problem of the customers at hand.

I have to have coffee. Need it, want it, desire it, I am going to break down and die if I do not get some chocolate and caffeine into my system at this very moment.

I order and fork over my Starbucks Gold card and my personal Venti tumbler. They're churning through orders; I wedge myself in the queue at the handoff bar and start tweeting the #sbuxdrama.

Suddenly, there's trouble. My coffee hot-spot radar is so finely tuned for any and all incidents at Starbucks that I think I could probably hear a coffee bean hitting a cafe floor at a hundred paces.

The girl ahead of me - who I *clearly* heard order two skinny cinnamon dolce lattes (I know they're 90 calories, but they taste like dishwater) is protesting "WHERE'S THE REST OF MY ORDER."

Listen up kids - and if you ever catch a busy Starbucks on the right day - and don't plan to go back any time soon - this is how you score some free drinks. Note that this will *NOT* work for regulars.

I forget what she was wearing. She wasn't the office type - and I think it was another pair of those black tights that everyone and their sister is wearing nowadays. There might have been a black and red plaid skirt. Big clunky boots and a fake label purse. You can always tell the knockoffs.

She gets the two skinny cinnamon dolce lattes. Instead of leaving with those, she grabs a takeout tray and jams those drinks into it. She camps out at the bar and stares expectantly at the barista, who has already moved on to my drink.

He looks up at her and goes "Do you need something?"

She goes "Where's my other drinks?" - "What other drinks," the barista asks?" "The two caramel macchiatos."

The barista looks down at the bar, where the other one on the register has cups lined up and there's not two caramel macchiatos there. And there ain't gonna be - because she never ordered them.

First, he asks if she meant to order caramel macchiatos instead of the cinnamon dolce lattes - but she insists she ordered *four* drinks.

The barista on register is trying to deal with a beeping coffee pot, getting pastry and a line of about twelve people. The one on bar just shakes his head and whips out two caramel macchiatos and throws them across to her.

She flounces out - having enriched herself by about eight bucks at Starbucks expense.