Dame Edna MuuMuu and the condo board of doom

If you sit in a Starbucks long enough, some crazy is bound to come in and start screaming at the top of their lungs about something. That is an absolute guarantee that can be sworn on the sacred text of any religion that worships any deity on this planet or any planet circling any sun on any galaxy in this universe or any other in any reality. From now until the end of time.

Because insane people LOVE AN AUDIENCE. Look at Tom Cruise.

For starters, this woman is wearing a muumuu. A black muumuu with white and orange flowers that vaguely resemble chrysanthemums but could possibly be lilies or maybe even daisies. I don't know. Over this, she has a plastic yellow raincoat and then a black sequined cap. Shiny black sequins - like she stole a Liza Minnelli dress and made a dress out of it. The kicker is the glasses -

We've moved on the stories about her condo commandos. Who are apparently evil beyond all kinds of evil. I guess they planted some trees that block her view of the ocean and now she thinks that her equity has been ruined along with the view. Revenge schemes are running rampant. To wit:

1. 14 landscape architects, surveyors, designers, real estate agents and whatnot were called in and sent letters and demands were made to determine if these trees blocked her view.
2. She apparently physically threatened a woman on her condo board and demanded that the trees be chopped down.
3. Dame Edna MuuMuu starts soliciting the opinions of everyone around her in Starbucks on whether or not she should cut down the trees.
4. Dame Edna MuuMuu moves on to potential poison - of the trees - or possibly the condo commandos. She solicits the opinion of EVERYONE who walks by. Should she use Clorox? What about a few gallons of salt water? Maybe some weed killer?
5. Dame Edna MuuMuu goes back to thinking she should just use a chainsaw to cut down the trees, then ask the woman sitting next to her "Can I go to jail for that?" That sparks a lively conversation on "Just take care of the problem in the middle of the night."

This whole conversation is surreal.

Then, we get into a lengthy conversation about condo commandos and how Dame Edna MuuMuu used to own apartments in Boston and how she hates her neighbors and all sorts of stuff.

Then we get to the even better stuff.

Dame Edna MuuMuu even got arrested. Yes. One of these little tete-a-tetes apparently got so physical that someone - Cthulhu only knows who - called the cops. Which resulted in Dame Edna MuuMuu being hauled before the county judge and all sorts of questions going on.

Apparently the judge asked her "Why did you live there if you hate your neighbors so much?" To which the answer is: "They moved there after me. I didn't get a list. Now who's gonna pay for my property that they killed?" I never did hear what happened to the court case.

Then, we move on to some drama involving a swimming pool assessment, which she was "forced" to sign, apparently at gunpoint, to hear her tell it.

OK. I've been here for a good long time, and she's talked to a real estate agent, a lady with a house-sitting business, some kids on school vacation and some yuppies on vacation. Now she's moved on to some tourists. She loves to talk, even if it is about the weather.

I'm packing it in. I can only listen to Damn Edna MuuMuu for so long.