Mermaid Mumbler and Her Siren Mermaid Magic

And the police are here.

Apparently the cops know to hit up the Starbucks approximately 30 minutes before closing to get their tall coffee and iced mocha before going back out on the beat.

They're taking the time to confer with the patrons. I guess there's a large load of crime and crime informants in the local Starbucks. Either that, or there's a hidden stash of cocaine buried in the pound bags of loose coffee beans.

Interesting fact, the slightly chunkier cop is the one knocking back the iced white mocha. I'd know that drink from forty paces. He's very bored and is checking out the merchandise while his partner flirts with the very artistic-looking young brunette working the register. She's one of those "artsy" type baristas that seem to populate every Starbucks from New York to Michigan to California. She's even wearing her hair pulled back in a head scarf.

Tall Coffee Cop is macking hard on the barista. She's in nursing school apparently - which finally explains the reason for the catheter discussion earlier. This was accompanied by the CHARMING visualization of the off-duty nurse asking her to hold up one of the bottles of Starbucks syrup, pointing to the top of the bottle, (to the syrup dispenser part) and saying "Yes, and imagine having something the size of this shoved ....." Well, you can figure that part out.

And now we finally come to the drama. Finally. I've been here for 40 minutes waiting for something good to happen. THANK YOU DRAMA GODS!


Wow. There's a very large woman in blue stretch capris (that image will STAY with a body) and some sort of red shirt who's come in waving around a Starbucks takeout tray. "EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME." For the fashion? For the interruption? What?


Both baristas, who are in the middle of cleaning up and getting ready to close, stare at her blankly.

"Has anyone turned in a little *mumble*?" I still don't understand what the drinks tray was for?

And they finally remember her.

She was here hours earlier. She dropped a *mumble* in the parking lot and wants them to replace it. Uh. OK. You dropped it.

She orders drinks. An iced latte and a venti iced caramel machiatto. And then she disappears.

Very strange this lady. I can hear one barista calling the manager to ask about the thing. "Did anyone turn in a *mumble* today? Yeah. She's here again." Yeesh. I just wish people would stop mumbling and enunciate for once. I heard everyone yelling about catheters and how mermaid sirens with two tails wanted to rescue people just so they could GET some tail. What about Stretch Capri's business was so special that it had to be kept private? Apparently, the whole world saw it, stole it and kept it out in the parking lot!

And now I hear a flush. The bathrooms here are not insulated well at all and the woman re-appears. She gets her drinks and begs for her *mumble.* She's a mumbler. The barista is telling her "I really don't think anyone is going to turn it in if you just dropped it in the parking lot across the road." Oy Vey. One of the crazy ones.

She leaves.

And more crazy. A random dude off the street who wanders in, stands in front of the register, stares at the baristas and then walks away. They give him an equally bizarre *stare* and go back to closing up the store.

I suddenly decide that this might not be the best place for me tonight. Apparently, it is a full moon and the craziness has descended in force. If the blue capris mount another attack, I doubt the barricades of sanity will hold.

UPDATE: As I leave, I see the cops across the street, drinking coffee in the shadows of the run-down strip mall. Maybe they're waiting on the mumbler to come work her siren mermaid magic.....